How to Build Strong Family Relationships
“When the people you love feel safe with you, trust can grow. When they don’t, even what you might think of as “small” moments can be seen as threatening.”
Content note: This article mentions family violence and abuse. Please take care while reading and reach out for support if you need it.
Most of us want the same thing at home: to be a good partner, a good dad, a welcome presence. So, how do we actually do that?
The answer has nothing to do with physical strength or financial success. Our success at home is really measured by the safety and trust in our relationships.
When the people you love feel safe with you, trust can grow. When they don’t, even what you might think of as “small” moments can be seen as threatening.
What safety really means
“Each person’s inherent worth is valued, conversations and disagreements are respectful, and each person’s freedom to make their own choices is honoured.”
Safety isn’t just the absence of fear of physical harm, it’s about creating the conditions for safety each day. Some examples of what this looks like are:
Physical safety: No threats, pushing, or unwanted physical contact.
Emotional safety: No name-calling, mockery, or constant criticism. Make space for feelings and honest conversations rooted in respect.
Financial safety: Money is handled fairly and not being used to control family members through bank accounts or spending.
*This isn’t every example, but just some common challenges.
When safety is there, people can be honest, disagree, and work through problems without fear of harm or payback. This is what dignity and healthy relationships look like at home. Each person’s inherent worth is valued, conversations and disagreements are respectful, and each person’s freedom to make their own choices is honoured.
Navigating the terrain
Like walking on unstable ground, damaging safety can creep in slowly. Pay attention if you notice yourself or another family member:
Feeling nervous, on edge, or “walking on eggshells”
Withdrawing from friends and family, or being discouraged from seeing them
Changing what you say or do to avoid someone’s anger
Constantly trying to please a family member, or they are trying to please you
Sometimes these signs are difficult to see in the moment if you’re flooded with emotion or feeling unsafe, and you might realize later that something hurt you or that you may have hurt someone else.
Whenever you notice these signs, take them seriously. Creating safety in relationships relies on acknowledging and recognizing when your actions have harmed someone else, and then taking ownership for your choices, and making real changes to stop yourself from doing it again.
What is abuse?
Abuse is not an “anger problem” or a bad day. It is a pattern where someone chooses to dominate, control, or harm another person. That might look like:
Physical actions meant to cause pain or fear
Emotional or psychological manipulation and put-downs
Unwanted sexual contact
Neglect of basic needs
Controlling money, medication, or daily choices
*This isn’t every example of abuse, learn more on FearIsNotLove
Using abuse in relationships destroys safety and makes honest problem-solving really difficult because it creates fear and isolation.
Your next step
“If a family member says your actions hurt them, listen. It’s a sign they trust you enough to tell you. Try to understand their experience, take responsibility, and commit to restoring safety.”
If a family member says your actions hurt them, listen. It’s a sign they trust you enough to tell you. Try to understand their experience, take responsibility, and commit to restoring safety.
If you think you might be experiencing abuse, consider reaching out for support.
If you are worried about your own behaviour and want to create or restore safety, help is available:
Men & Men’s Resource Line: Call or text 1-833-327-6367
Men & Service Navigator to find local services and support
Men’s Counselling Service: non-judgmental support for men who are concerned about their anger or who think they might be using abuse: MCScalgary.com
24-Hour Family Violence Helpline: (403) 234-SAFE (7233) or 1 (866) 606-7233
If you are in immediate danger, call 911 or your local emergency number.
Choosing to get help is an act of courage, not shame. It is one concrete way to start rebuilding safety, trust, and connection at home.
To learn more about creating safety in relationships, managing conflict constructively, and healthy strategies for navigating stress, access the free Men & Collection of digital tools on the Forge platform.