Men & Commitments

We affirm the inherent dignity of all people - including men in pain, men who feel ashamed, and men who have caused harm  - without denial, distortion, or scapegoating. We tell the truth about harm, impact, and responsibility.

We commit to holding dignity without distorting reality, denying power dynamics, or minimizing others’ experiences.

We prioritize physical, emotional, relational, and community safety. When safety is at risk, we respond appropriately—through safeguarding, clear boundaries, and referral to specialized supports. Safety is not negotiable.

We recognize how trauma, shame, loss, and disconnection shape men’s lives and coping strategies. We practice attunement, steadiness, and care—avoiding humiliation, coercion, ridicule, or moral performance.

We practice accountability as clarity + responsibility + repair, not punishment or “winning.” We name harmful behaviour directly, refuse contempt as a tactic, and work to support men to make different choices, and help translate insight into changed patterns.

We recognize that many forms of harm—including intimate partner violence, coercive control, sexual violence, and harassment—follow gendered patterns shaped by patriarchal norms and power imbalances. We will not erase these realities in the name of neutrality. We engage men to increase safety and reduce harm without minimizing women’s disproportionate risk.

We acknowledge that family violence is gendered and asymmetrical in impact, with women disproportionately experiencing severe injury and death.

We also acknowledge that violence affects all genders and that men can experience harm—without using male pain to minimize women’s safety or erase gendered realities.

We commit to:

• centering victim/survivor safety and agency

• refusing victim-blaming or “mutual abuse” simplifications

• supporting men who use violence to take responsibility and change

• directing crisis situations to appropriate specialized supports

We refuse narratives that excuse harm (“I couldn’t help it”) or externalize blame (“it’s women / feminism / the system”). We support men to reclaim agency: I can choose my next step. I can change my pattern. I can repair.

We support men to reclaim agency in the context of dignity and safety: I can choose my next step. I can build a different life.

We will not use messaging that frames men as a class in competition with women, feminism, or equity movements.

We do not promote “us vs them” frameworks (e.g., anti-woman, anti-feminist, anti-GBV sector narratives) as an entry point to care.

We recognize that many systems fail men (help-seeking barriers, stigma, service gaps, rural access, waitlists, culturally unsafe care).

We address these failures through working on complex systems change, creating tools that support people working within those systems and by establishing partnerships, not by scapegoating gender equity, women’s services, or marginalized communities.

We understand masculinity as socially produced and enforced through norms that can harm everyone (emotional suppression, dominance, entitlement, contempt for vulnerability). We support men to build a more relational, emotionally skilled, community-oriented masculinity grounded in care, integrity, and belonging.

Repair is more than apology or remorse. It requires taking on a fairer share of responsibility and relational work.

That means being reliably accountable, practicing explicit consent, participating fully in care work, carrying emotional responsibility, telling the truth, following through on commitments, and taking concrete actions that reduce harm and rebuild trust in families, workplaces, and communities.

We treat emotional development, relational skill, repair, belonging, and meaning as central.

We help men build capacity for:

• emotional literacy and regulation

• conflict navigation and repair

• healthy boundaries and consent

• accountability and integrity

• community contribution and purpose

At Forge and Men & we do this through 4 core learning streams aimed at developing 10 core capacities.

We refuse approaches that justify, excuse, or normalize actions taken in anger—especially when they intimidate, control, or harm others.
We make room for anger as a real signal, but we orient it toward understanding, accountability, repair, and constructive action—not grievance, resentment, or a permanent identity as a victim.

We use language that increases responsibility, honours survivor agency, avoids pathologizing men, and avoids excusing harm. We are clear about scope, cost, access, and eligibility, and we maintain appropriate referral pathways for crisis, suicidality, family violence specialization, addictions, and severe mental health concerns. We do not help people weaponize systems.

We use language that:

• accurately names violence and responsibility

• honours victim resistance and agency

• avoids pathologizing men as “the problem” while also avoiding excuses

• supports help-seeking without minimizing harm

We recognize men’s experiences differ across race, Indigeneity, disability, class, sexuality, immigration, and geography. We refuse single-story narratives. Inclusion does not mean erasing power— it means engaging complexity with care and cultural responsiveness.We recognize men’s experiences differ across race, Indigeneity, disability, class, sexuality, immigration, and geography. We refuse single-story narratives. Inclusion does not mean erasing power— it means engaging complexity with care and cultural responsiveness.

We use credible evidence and strong practice traditions, and we stay humble, current, and feedback-informed. We do not selectively cite contested research to justify ideology or polarization.

We commit to ongoing accountability to survivors and to women-led, Indigenous, and GBV-informed organizations. When there is tension between men’s comfort and others’ safety, we choose safety. We do not undermine the legitimacy of gender-based approaches to violence prevention.