Jeff’s Story: Finding True Strength
Once driven by a “tough guy” image that hurt his career and relationships, Jeff finds help that transforms how he leads, parents, and shows emotion.
Jeff grew up chasing an “alpha” ideal he didn’t see at home. In his 20s, that meant fights, bravado, and proving he was the “strong guy.” Then life shifted with a move to Calgary, a corporate job, and a growing family.
It was a reality check: “In that world, you know, violence is not an option.” The same bulldozing that once won him status began to cost him—at work and at home. “I would just… bulldoze everyone, just so I wouldn’t feel weak,” he says. It strained his relationship with his ex-partner, his kids, and stalled promotions.
The turn came when Jeff enrolled in a men’s counselling program. He isn’t religious, but calls it “a godsend.” The work gave him tools like emotional intelligence, leadership that doesn’t rely on anger, the courage to show feeling without fear. The payoff touched everything: steadier parenting, healthier co-parenting, better teams at the office.
Many of us share the script Jeff was handed, believing that showing emotion is showing weakness. He’s blunt about the fact that a lot of guys feel this way; but not many say it out loud.
He’s now an advocate for men’s mental health, including within his friend groups. And he’s clear: he didn’t abandon who he is. “I’m still the same… masculine Jeff.” He just added range.
What we learned from Jeff:
Developing emotional range and awareness isn’t weak, it’s essential for connection.
Try one step: book a men’s counselling intake or text the Men’s Resource Line.
Measure progress by safe and trusting relationships, not toughness.
If you think you might want help, explore practical, low-barrier supports at Men &.